


A New Start (And Then You Came Back)

by Realistic_Dreamer



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Hair Salon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And he wants Hanzo back BADLY, Angst, Bullying, But now hes not, Car Accidents, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Hair Stylist!Hanzo, Hanzo Angst, Hanzo can be sassy!, Hanzo has grown stronger and more confident, In this universe Hanzo and Genji both get injured!, It wasn't Genji who was wronged this time, Jesse used to be ashamed of dating Hanzo, M/M, Misunderstandings, More tags to come!, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poor Genji just wants his brother back!, Poor Hanzo Shimada, Secret Relationship, Shame, Slight Angela Bashing, Slight Jesse Bashing, buuuuuut, protective Hana, punk!hanzo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-19 14:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Realistic_Dreamer/pseuds/Realistic_Dreamer
Summary: "why are you dating me if you're so ashamed of me?!""I'm not darlin' I'm not I just...""You are! we don't go out in public! you don't call me your boyfriend! and you never stand up for me!""but Hanzo I...""STOP LYING TO ME!"That was 10 years ago....back when he was unsure of himself...of his sexuality....but Now.Hanzo runs an small, independent, and popular hair salon. he is confident in his skill and everyday he gives people a new start. whether its through their hair, through talking, or just giving them a safe space...Hanzo is going to make them feel better.He was fine where he was. working with Bastion, Hana, Fareeha, and Reinhardt, being his own boss, and having loyal customers who trust him.Then....They came back into his lifeHe came back into his life.......Shit





	1. A New Start

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me! this is my first Fanfiction on this site! please help me and give me constructive crticism!

“Admit it….you would be so bored without me,” sung Hana as she leaned over the counter towards Hanzo.

Hanzo gave a deep belly laugh at the statement as Hana stuck her stud pierced tongue out at her employer and Best Friend. She swatted at his head, just touching the shaved undercut on the sides, and almost grabbing the small ponytail on the back. He smirked, his piercings glinting in the sun. 

“Punk,” she murmured in glee as she looked him up and down.

And boy did Hanzo ever fit that mold, his appearance would have made his younger self faint or grasp his heart in shock. Two rings in his left eyebrow, a nose bridge piercing, a tongue piercing of his own, and each of his ears had an assortment of studs, rings, and earcuffs.

“Don’t ignore me Han~, admit you looove me! Admit I’m amazing~” Hana sung, batting her eyelashes at him. 

Hanzo sighed, looking at Hana before focusing on his task. He was getting the computer set up for their receptionist Bastion, who was looking over his shoulder in curiousness and staring at Hana in wonder.

“I would never deny that...although you per say are confusing bastion to high heaven,” he smirked knowingly, making sure he was turned enough that Bastion could read his lips. 

“He loves me too! Don’t you Bastion?” she signed quickly to the other, to which the timid man smiled and signed back in the positive. 

Hanzo rolled his eyes before standing up and signing to Bastion that the computer was all set up for him. The bell on the desk was even hooked up with a cord and a microphone. Whenever the bell was rung, a device would vibrate on his desk to let him know someone was there. The microphone allowed spoken words to appear on the computer screen in case he couldn't read the client's lips, and allowed him to type a response which would then be “translated” through the microphone. His little bird sat on his perch on the desk, fluffed up and ready for the day. Bastion sat down with a happy air around him, bouncing in his seat with energy.

“Is your station all set up Hana?” Hanzo asked with a raised eyebrow in amusement. 

“Yes, yes, Old man” she sassed back in good nature, throwing her ponytailed hair back over her shoulder. “I’m ready to change people’s lives through awesome hair styles!”

Hanzo had to chuckle as he went to flip his sign to ‘Open’ on his hair salon. If you had asked him 10 years ago where he would be in life, being a hair stylist and owning his own salon would have been the furthest thing from his mind. Living happily….that wouldnt have entered his mind either. Now? Here he was, in the heart of Boston, running a well loved salon with very close friends as his employee’s and with an amazing client base that were loyal to the end. He took a deep breath, holding it in before he let it out, forming a genuine smile.

“Sai Sutato* is now open for the day!!” Bellowed Reinhardt as he erupted from the back. Hair pulled back and apron all battle ready for the flow of regulars.

No sooner than said, people gently flowed into the salon. Hanzo smiled as he hugged one of his older regulars and gentled guided her to her chair while reinhardt, Hana, and a few more of his stylists welcomed their regulars as well.

The day went normal as usual. Constant chatter filled the Salon. Customers telling everyone everything, from how their days were going, to how the kids were faring during the grueling school year, and the occasional gossip of who married who. Hanzo hummed to his clients conversation as he gently french braided her hair for her upcoming tournament in soccer tomorrow.

“Oh thank you Hanzo! I know it’s weird to get my hair done for soccer since it’s going to get sweaty and such but...but it gives me…” the teen babbled in embarrassment before hanzo turned her to the mirror, gently squeezing her shoulders

“It gives you confidence,” he smirked as she oohed and ahhed at the style, the french braid tight and perfect, no pieces of hair out of place. “You are now battle ready Jess, be sure to come back and tell me all about it okay? I have you schedule in a week for you color treatment.” he nodded in assurance, grunting as she tackled him in a hug.

“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!” she squealed in his ear before jumping out of the embrace and rummaging through her purse.

“No, no, no….we have discussed this” he gave her a stern look...that held more amusement than actual scolding. “It only took me ten minutes. No charge,” he insisted, gently herding her over to Bastion.

Hanzo had to smirk as he sat down behind the desk, a little way away from Bastion, going over files and such. All clients had left sluggishly, as it was the salon’s two hour lunch break. 

“We’re going to go grab lunch! Korean barbeque guys whoop!” Hana smirked as she dragged Reinhardt out the front door with her “be back in 20!” she added before fully leaving the salon. 

Hanzo gave a small smirk and nodded, as he signed to Bastion what the lunch of the day was going to be. Bastion quirked an eyebrow before nodding, always up for trying something new. He liked working in the silence, going through his clients lists and already thinking of new styles for each and everyone.

The bell to the door soon jingled open, making Hanzo blink in confusion before letting out a sigh. Hana never locked the door, but he assumed she forgot to flip the sign. Standing up without looking at the door, he began to file papers away.

“I’m sorry but we are closed for lunch. We’ll be open again at 1:00pm if you want to come…” he trailed as he looked up and his eyes widened, Bastion looking between him and the group of people in worry.

“Hiya Darlin’...”


	2. I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In (after 10 years)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo Faces a blast from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's more of the story! Hope you all enjoy it <3
> 
> Anything in Italics is dialogue/scenes from the past

Hanzo took a deep breath, planting himself firmly as he stood there….shocked and angry at the very sight before him. There stood Jesse McCree, wringing his cowboy hat between his hands, and looking at Hanzo with large doe eyes. Though Hanzo’s heart tugged at that expression like it did in the past...now it was accompanied by fierce irritation at the other.

“What are you doing here McCree?” he asked steadily, crossing his arms as if to steel himself.

“Well...um...I...I jus’ wanted to see ya….” he stuttered softly, trying to look into Hanzo’s eyes but the overwhelming emotion in the others eyes made it impossible to do so.

“...you just wanted to see me…” Hanzo trailed disbelievingly “...for the first time in ten years?” he cut.

Jesse couldn’t do more than fiddle with his hat some more, giving a hesitant shrug. Hanzo tried to hold back his feelings of hurt and betrayal.

 

_ “I Love ya’ Darlin’...with all my heart! I just think that we should keep this to ourselves for now...just until we’re comfortable with where we are at ya’ know?” _

 

Hanzo breathed sharply through his nose, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You ….you look nice...a new look and all…”

“Be quiet please”

McCree’s mouth snapped shut and he nodded, staring down at his hat again. The poor thing was now being crushed by the others group. 

Hanzo took the time of silence to look over Jesse. Nothing much had changed about the other and yet….he was so much different. Still the same soulful eyes that would never last within a poker game, the same impish smile made by soft lips, and the entire cowboy personality he had going was no change whatsoever. Yet...he had grown, physically at least. He was taller and no longer just lean muscle like the beanpole of his youth. He had actual muscles that strained against the shirt he was wearing, a flush creeping up inside of him. He had grown a beard and mustache, which oddly enough suited him...even if it had leant to the cowboy look. His hands looked callous and rough from work, his boots muddy and well worn. Yes...this was the Jesse of his youth...and yet it wasn’t. He sighed, ignoring the aching of his heart to take the man in his arms and reassure him that all would be alright.

Because it wasn’t alright...not in the slightest

“Is there anything else you wanted? Because i do have a business to run,” he cut through sharply “you’ve seen me so can leave now.”

You could hear Jesse swallow in the stark quiet that followed. 

“I just….can...can we talk? Please Han…”  
“You lost that right to call me anything but Hanzo and even that is a stretch at the moment”

 

_ “Honeybee~” _

_ “Ah Sugarplum don’t be like that!” _

_ “Hanners~ I Know you’re in here!” _

_ “Darlin’” _

_ “Dearest~” _

_ “Love of my life, time to snuggle!” _

 

Jesse bit his lip, rubbing the back of his neck. He seemed stuck and baffled...did he expect just to come here, say some sweet words, and everything would go away? If Hanzo of the past was standing here, that would be the case. The Hanzo of today though, he had grown not only in confidence in his skills but grown in his value of self worth as well. He would not fall for any of that.

“McCree I think you should…”

He was cut off from his scathing remark by a large crash sounding from the back storage room. He whipped his body to see that Bastion was no longer at the front desk. He cursed under his breath and hurriedly made his way to the back. After a few seconds of looking, his gaze saw Bastion flustered over a pile of fallen hair products. He was quickly trying to put them away with one hand while the other held his bird, Ganymede, close to his chest. Hanzo sighed in amusement, knowing the bird probably was trying to nest in the closet again. Poor Bastion was probably worried about getting in trouble. He gently knelt next to the young man, gently grasping his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze, chuckling as Bastion jumped a bit.

‘It’s alright, lets clean up before Hana comes and manages to increase the mess?’ he signed to the other

Bastion blinked before blushing and chuckling softly with a nod of his head. He relaxed further as he and Hanzo began to clean up in a comfortable silence. Soon the closet was tidy and Hanzo could hear the door open, Hana’s laughter filtering through. He and Bastion made their way to the front, Hanzo choking at the thought that McCree might still be there.

“HANZO WE HAVE RETURNED WITH FOOD!” Reinhardt bellowed in greeting, gently slapping Hanzo’s back before setting the food down on the table to the side.

Hanzo did a quick sweep of the salon with his eyes and let out a silent sigh of relief to see no sign of Jesse. Although his heart ached at the absence, he knew it was for the best. Why take one step forward, just to take two steps back for someone else?

“Hanzo....are you okay?” Hana asked as she came up to him, being more perceptive than people gave her credit for.

Hanzo gave a soft smile to her and laid a hand on the top of her head. She immediately began to fuss over not being treated like a child, and now he was ruining her perfectly done hair and all that.

“HANZO!! My hair my hair! Stooooop it!” she whined wriggling out from under him and pouting with laughter in her eyes.

He just let out a laugh as he pondered her question. 

Was he Okay? He pondered this as he looked around at his little family. 

Bastion, like a younger cousin, was his friend to find comfort within the silence with. He never asked questions intending to hurt, he was only ever curious about the world and the people around him. He always got them pieces of chocolate whenever he sensed someone was upset. He genuinely cared about all those around him, and whenever Hanzo needed a soft presence, Bastion was there for him.

Reinhardt had always been there for him...a close family friend that made him feel like more than just a centerpiece. He may have been the oldest heir, the trophy child for his father to mold and show off to the world, but Reinhardt treated him like his child. He took him out for family trips, encouraged him to show his emotions, encourage failure since that is how you learned, and never judged Hanzo...he only helped him improve. Reinhardt never left his side…..not after the accident….not after his multiple surgeries….not after dropping out….and not after the break up. Hanzo knew he could always rely on him.

And Hana. he smiled softly, watching her stomp over to Reinhardt to complain about her hair that he had supposedly messed up. Without her….he may not even be alive today. She was his sister in every way that counted. She pulled him out of his darkest episodes, scolded him when he thought life was no longer worth living, and encouraged him to leave toxic relationships behind no matter how hard it would be. It was because of her that he pursued his dream of becoming a hairstylist...without Hana…

He chuckled softly

Without any of these people...he wouldn’t be who he was today. He wouldn’t trade these people for the world. He found strength in this family...and he sure as hell wasn’t letting go now. 

“Alright everyone, let’s dig in. we have a very busy day ahead of us!” he smiled as he sat down, giving a mock glare as Hana stole the piece of meat he was stretching for.

“You snooze you lose brother” she said cheekily, sticking her tongue out as she popped the food in her mouth.

Reinhardt laughed and said something about the youth of today and Hanas energy. Basion focused on scavenging through the food for something edible for Ganymede to eat, smiling as Hanzo passed him some millets for the tiny bird to munch on. Hana pouted and just continued to fill up her plate. 

‘Yes…’ Hanzo thought with a smile, ‘I am Okay….how could I not be with this family I have around me’. 

“HANZO THAT WAS MY DDEOKBOKKI* DISH!!!” 

Yes, he thought with a laugh as he kept HIS DISH out of Hana’s short grasp, he was more than okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS, REVIEWS, AND BOOKMARKS! You are all such lovely and amazing people!
> 
> *Ddeokbokki - A korean Barbeque dish that is essentially spicy korean rice cakes that can be made in many different ways (usually contain fish cake, cabbage, and hard boiled eggs)  
> Source- http://takelessons.com/blog/10-korean-bbq-dishes-you-have-to-try-z11


	3. I Know I am an Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a confrontation, we go to the other side of this tragic play.  
> what will you think after this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the delay in updating.  
> I forgot how time consuming Moving is XD
> 
> Italics & Underline mean flashback to past events

McCree flopped down on the couch, gripping his hair tightly within his fingers in frustration. How could he be so stupid!? He thought, wanting to smack himself. Why did he even think that Hanzo would EVER want to see him again? It had been ten years….but even ten years seemed like too short of a time. He laid his head back against the couch, letting it loll over the top. Even though Hanzo’s easy dismissal of him had hurt like a knife….seeing him again was like a balm to the wound. He looked even more beautiful than he remembered. The sharp lines of his face, those expression filled chocolate eyes, and that body…

‘And damn if that look isn’t making me want him even more’ he thought with a lick of his lips

That new hairstyle and those piercings made him want to groan at the stupidity his younger self had shown. He…he swallowed…he had treated Hanzo like a shameful mistress back in his college days. He would give up anything…anything! Just to go back in time and treat Hanzo like the gem he was…to serenade him with songs in public…hold his hands in front of people…and kiss the daylights out of him in front of all of their friends.

_“ They’re your friends Jesse…not mine,”_

_ “No Hanners don’t say that cause It’s not—“ _

_ “They tolerate me Jesse…and they don’t do it even for you. They do it because Genji asked them too…even in his anger” a mournful tilt of the lips adorned his face _

_ Jesse kept quiet…doing nothing to convince Hanzo it wasn’t his fault.  _

_ ‘Because it was dammit!’ he thought angrily  _

_ ‘Who cares if Hanzo…and the police say it was an accident…we all know’ Jesse took a deep breath through his nose to cool down and gently took Hanzo’s hand within his _

_ “Just keep trying Hanzo…they’ll like you soon enough.” _

_ “How much longer do I need to try though Jesse?” the sharp retort burst out “When they are not trying at all…or maybe this is my punishment hm?” _

_ His statement was met with silence…giving Hanzo the answer he needed before his stood up, tying up his hair as he hastily left his lovers house.  _

Jesse tossed his hat in rage over the memory, standing up and pounding his way to the kitchen, instantly looking through the cabinets. He felt like his heart might break in two…no…he felt it being forcefully ripped in two…why…why?! Why was he so damn stupid! Tears threatened to stream from his eyes but he held them back, scum like him didn’t deserve to feel remorse for what he did.

“DAMMIT!”

 There had to be some sort of alcohol here! He slapped a hand heavily on the granite countertops as he brushed a hand through his now messed up hair. He was desperate to drown out these feelings in alcohol…just for a while he wanted to forget. To forget why and how he lost the single greatest thing to have ever happened to him. To forget that he drove his soulmate away…to forget how happy and successful Hanzo looked without him. Damn…how could he have gone there hoping Hanzo would even be a little bit miserable without him….guess he was that desperate to have a chance with Hanzo back.

Well…that was for sure ancient history.

“If you’ve broken something Jesse I will beat you with your cheesy cowboy boot,” a deadpan voice stated, irritation deep within her voice

Jesse took a deep breath before turning to his friend, looking years older.

“Sorry ‘Reeha….just…just a rough day,” he murmured, not totally meeting her eyes in fear of what he may see.

He sighed as she slammed a six pack of beer on the table. He looked into Fareeha’s eyes to see rage and worst of all disappointment.

“Oh I bet you had a rough day! Walking around the shops…getting lunch…oh and don’t forget this! Going to your Ex’s workplace, intentionally catching him off guard, and acting like ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS HAPPENED!” she yelled, the grip on her shopping bag tight and white, contrasting with her gorgeous dark caramel skin.

Jesse wished he had his hat right now, staring at where it lay across the room. At least with the hat he could hide his face or occupy his hands with its weathered brim. He rubbed his stubble as he heard Fareeha stomp aggressively into the kitchen, loudly grabbing a shot glass for herself. He watched her pour herself some whiskey, down it, and refill her shot glass and bring both back to the table. She sat on the same couch, but nowhere near Jesse. The space intentional, as to make Jesse feel unwelcome and scared. And boy….was it working. For minutes that seemed like hours, Jesse waited. Fareeha took another shot before putting it down, clasping her hands together over her knees, her eyes trained on the whiskey bottle…possibly contemplating hitting Jesse over the head with it. It would be the least he would deserve.

“I invited you for a visit…because you’re my brother in everything but blood,” she started in a soft but icy tone “I have missed you so much Jesse….despite how much you had hurt HIM so long ago. So I thought hey…He must get it now, what’s the harm in having my brother over? He wouldn’t dare confront Hanzo after…after” she took a shaky breath, obviously reliving the memories. “DAMMIT JESSE!” she yelled, slapping the table.

“After…after everything you, Angela…and in some part Genji did to him….how could you even think that going to him would be remotely smart?” she asked, obviously still angry, but her tone communicated deep disappointment and confusion “….” Whatever she was about to say she dismissed with a shake of her head.

After a few tense minutes Fareeha grabbed a beer and thrust it to Jesse…an uneasy truce. Jesse gave a shaky smile…the emotions in him causing him this action rather than fear of Fareeha. She was right…after everything he did…most of it was what he DIDN’T do, how could he think of going to Hanzo?

Though he knew the reason. His heart was breaking every day without Hanzo by his side. He thought of him every morning as he went to work, and every night before he settled into a restless sleep.  He knew it was wrong and disgusting after what he did…but he wanted Hanzo back. Even if it meant having Hanzo glare at him, spit in his face, and hate him…just having him there for those few minutes this afternoon, got his heart racing in absolute joy. Seeing the man sent his body into euphoria, just a brush of Hanzo made his heart feel whole for just a few minutes.

“Fareeha…” he choked, staring at his unopened beer “I Miss him…I miss him so damn much!” he cried, finally a few tears slipping out.

To this Fareeha’s body relaxed but she didn’t dare utter a word.

“I messed up…and there’s no excuse…I messed up and I lost him.” He murmured brokenly, his grip on the beer so tight that the metal began to bend and distort. “I…I’m an overdramatic idiot I know…but…just seeing him today, he sent my heart into a damn gymnastics routine.”

He finally raised his head to look up at her.

“I thought…I thought I could live without him you know,” he gave a tearful chuckle “Like…like a punishment for how I treated him…an atonement of sorts. But…I’m so god damn selfish Sis’. I want him back, because that five minutes I spent in front of him today…talking…I finally felt whole again,” he released, and cradling his forehead.

It was quiet…before rustling could be heard, and a strong arm wrapped itself around Jesse’s shoulders. It pulled him in to a side hug, her forehead resting against his as she sighed softly, her face softened and her eyes warm again.

“I need him ‘Reeha…” he sucked in a shuddering breath “I need him so badly…”

“I know Jesse….I know” Fareeha said softly, sadness lighting her voice

_ “Hanners?” _

_ “Yes Jesse?” _

_ “You know how much I love you right?” _

_ “Hm…I have seemed to forgotten my love.” A smirk _

_ A chuckle _

_ “I love you more than anything this universe has to offer. I will never give you up, not as long as I live,” _

_ “That is a lot of love, I love you more Cowboy” _

_ “I love you most Hanzo,” _

_ A teasing sigh, and then a connection of lips in utter bliss.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments so i can know how im doing *crossing fingers*


	4. Accidents Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into the Pain within Hanzo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP! ITS BEEN 2 WEEKS! Im soooooooo sorry and as an apology I have Two chapters! this one and the next! again I Am so so sorry!  
> hope you enjoy!

Hanzo sighed as he sat on his couching, pinching the upper bridge of his nose. For some reason he had a migraine that would not go away. The last time he had such an ache… he shook his head, such memories were adding to it. A gentle knock on the door had him flinching before he pulled himself up, shuffling slowly to the door and opening it immediately.

“Reinhardt?” he asked with surprise clearly in his eyes, knowing that his dear friend was never gentle when knocking, “Ah, sorry please come in,” he ushered the other in.

Reinhardt gave a soft smile, holding a big cloth bag filled to the brim with essentials that Hanzo could even begin to decipher. The older man walked into the others kitchen, making himself at home and unpacking numerous food items and gathering pots and pans into his area.

“Sit down and let me take care of this no?” he said in a soft but firm voice, his previous sentence obviously not a question

Hanzo sighed but a small smile crept onto his face as he retreated back to the couch, grabbing his fluffy gray blanket and wrapping himself tightly within it.

_ “You look like a fluffy seal brother!”  _

The voice echoed uncomfortably in his head; he burrowed deeper into the blanket as if to avoid that. Humming traveled from the kitchen to where he was resting, making the atmosphere in the apartment soften and become more…homey. German songs, origins unknown, floated through the air as the pleasant scent of potato pancakes filled Hanzo’s nose. What felt like just a few minutes later, the side of the couch dipped under the weight suddenly beside him. Hanzo looked up and smiled at Reinhardt’s big grin, before looking to the table to see a plate stacked high with delicious potato pancakes, along with hot tea in two mugs before him.

“Arigatou,” Hanzo sighed happily as he picked up a disk of food “Itadakimasu.” He bowed his head before biting into the food, barely containing a moan of delight.

Reinhardt laughed loudly at the others reaction, taking some for himself as well. The two chewed in peace for the next half hour, just enjoying one another’s company in the comfortable silence. But today was not a day to just be filled with silence.

“You know why I am here Hanzo,” Reinhardt said in a soft voice, his eyes firm in his mission.

Hanzo winced at the implication before uncrossing his legs and pulling the blankets off, his breath no longer hitched at the sight of…his legs…but his eyes did harden a bit at the sight of the metal prosthetics latched on like a glove just over the bulge of the end of his thigh. The only thing he had to thank the doctors for – as Reinhardt constantly reminded him –Was that his prosthetics were so advanced nowadays that they worked like real legs and looked like leg coverings, so no one really he was a double amputee. He flinched softly as Reinhardt placed his hands on his legs, gently unlatching the fake legs one by one. The skin underneath blazed an angry and fiery red hue, causing Reinhardt to sigh in disappointment.

“You must stop letting it get to this point Hanzo,” he said softly, grabbing the cream from the floor that had subtly put down before he put down the food. “This is probably the source of your migraine,” he nodded, rubbing cream between his hands to warm it up before starting on the stump of the first leg.

While he gently rubbed the cream into the limb, massaging the nerves and blood flow back to life, Hanzo let his head loll against the back of the couch, closing his eyes to the process before him. Sometimes…sometimes when Hanzo looked at his legs….he wondered why the doctors had even tried to save him. But he knew that his disability didn’t define him….but it was the memory of that night that sometimes…caused him to think of death and resting in peace.

Why did something that happened so long ago….still affect him?

Why?

**_ Flashback _ **

_“Sir! Sir can you hear me? Sir!?”_

_Hanzo struggled to open his eyes, pain thrumming violently throughout his body. Why was this voice yelling at him? Why was he hurting everywhere? Well at least his legs felt fine…_

_“Sir! Please open your eyes! Please, we need to get you out of this car and to the hospital….sir? Captain! Victim is unresponsive like the other! Orders?”_

_Other? Victim? Car? With those words Hanzo’s eyes flew open as his memory flooded back like a hurricane. Driving down the highway, Genji was in the passenger seat, they were fighting….Genji was pissed that Hanzo had dragged him from a drinking party, even though he was still underage. Hanzo looked around him. Genji? Genji!? Where was his brother? Last thing he remembered was yelling at Genji for his foolishness, while Genji in his anger had grabbed Hanzo’s shirt by the collar, dragging him away from the wheel to yell profanities at him…his hands had tugged the wheel sharply in a misguided attempt to hold back from Genji’s pull. A sudden lurch sent both brothers forward and a scream was heard before the crunching of metal filled his ears…then nothing._

_He looked around, breathing increasing in sharp gasps. He didn’t hear the paramedic trying to calm him down, he barely felt the hands on his face and another pair on his neck securing a brace and whispering soothing words to him. All that mattered was Genji…and Genji wasn’t in the car!_

_“Where’s…” his throat burned and cried at the word but he pushed on, “Where….my brother….where?” he pleaded._

_“He is being transported to the hospital as we speak. But I need to know if you are in pain sir and where! We had to use the Jaws of Life and…”_

_His sight started to blur and suddenly his world became silent as he struggled to connect the information. Genji…Genji was hurt…he was going to the hospital….god…god he had killed his brother, he thought with a sob. Hands gripped his face again and pleading followed, but Hanzo had fallen into a panicked unconsciousness._

_Genji…_

_12 hours later_

_“Hanzo…Hanzo wake up,” a voice gently called to him_

_With great effort, Hanzo managed to open his eyes, his sight blurry before gradually clearing. He was looking up into Reinhardt’s face…which processed in his brain as he was lying down. The white ceiling and the ever increasing volume of a heart monitor made him blink groggily_

_‘…a hospital…’ he thought in confusion before the accident reentered his mind_

_“GENJI!” he yelled trying to sit up, but a burning pain laced through his body and through each and every limb._

_“Hanzo! Lay down and do not move! The doctor specifically ordered this!” Reinhardt demanded, worry and fear lacing every syllable. “Please just…Genji…Genji is fine okay? You…you are…”_

_“Ah Mr. Shimada, you’re awake!” the tired voice of the doctor permeated throughout the room as he and two nurses walked over as quickly as they could._

_While the nurses checked the vitals and comfort of the patient, the doctor sidled up by Reinhardt’s side. He flipped through his chart, a tired and sad smile on his face._

_“We are so relieved you are okay Mr. Shimada you…”_

_“My brother, Genji, how is he?” Hanzo immediately rasped_

_The doctor blinked in surprise, looking to a sighing Reinhardt before looking back to his patient._

_“You brother is just fine…some scarring issues, a broken arm and collarbone, and a concussion is all he has…we suspect is has to do with his slightly elevated blood alcohol level… it must have relaxed his body enough to prevent serious injury,” to this the doctor stopped, running a hand through his hair._

_“Mr. Shimada…we need to talk about YOUR condition,”_

_Hanzo was smiling a bit at the report of his brother…before it dropped in confusion at the grim and sad tone of the doctor._

_“To start…your chest is extremely bruised as is your spine…three of your ribs are broken but thankfully didn’t pierce the lung and…” the doctor paused, looking to Reinhardt who sighed and then nodded. “I will leave you to more news from Mr. Reinhardt…but Mr. Shimada…we are all very happy and excited that you are alive…don’t forget that,” and with that the doctor ushered the two nurses out the door and closed it behind him, leaving Hanzo and Reinhardt to a cold and uncomfortable silence._

_Hanzo looked to the older male, confusion coloring him._

_“Reinhardt…”_

_“….” He sighed “Hanzo…you…you almost died.” He said, his voice hitching in emotion. “Your car sped at 75 miles per hour into a pillar of the bridge… your driver’s side took the initial hit and most of the damage…the airbag didn’t deploy and the…the car crumpled in on you….on your legs…”_

_Hanzo took a deep steadying breath, his hands shaking_

_“But its fine,” he gave a shaky smile to the other towering over him “I can feel everything so I’m okay and—“_

_“Hanzo…they…they had to remove your…” Reinhardt gripped his hair in despair, “Your legs were so mangled and torn up….it…it was a mess…they…they had to amputate…”_

_Hanzo’s breathing started to increase as he struggled to sit up, ignoring the loud protests of Reinhardt, muted by the adrenaline rush of panic flooding his ears. He tore the covers off and gaped at the sight. There…above the knee…where….where his legs…..bandages covered the stumps._

_Stumps….no legs…just stumps._

_“Hanzo…oh Hanzo…”_

_Fingers began to wipe tears from his eyes, tears of disbelief that had secretly began to trail down his face. His whole body was engulfed in a tight, warm embrace as he began to shake and cry at his loss._

_Why?_

_Why?_

_Why?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are love~


	5. Brother of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reacting to an accident is different for everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my apology chapter!  
> please forgive grammar, spelling, and my work. I was up late writing this ^^;

_“YOU DID THIS! YOU DID THIS TO ME! LOOK AT ME YOU BASTARD! LOOK AT MY FACE!”_

_“Genji enough! You dare to blame this on Hanzo after…”_

_“Shut up Reinhardt!! Look at me! I’m hideous! And it’s all because of him! HE DID THIS!”  Genji cried, angry tears rolling down his face, griping the arms of his wheelchair in barely contained anger, trying to wheel past Reinhardt. Scars littered his face, cutting through his eyebrow, his lips, marring his cheeks and his forehead, and scattered across his arms. He looked like he had gone through a meat shredder and felt like he had too._

_Hanzo sat listless in his bed, tired eyes glancing every now and then at his legs, but mostly looking to Genji in guilt and sadness. Behind Genji stood Angela, who was beat red in her face. Her emotions overriding her understanding of medicine to direct her anger at the bedridden Shimada. He knew Gabe and Jack were in the hallway so he had no clue as to how the two were feeling but still….Jesse stood to the side, looking tired and sad, not saying a thing but not defending Hanzo either._

_‘That hurt,’ Hanzo thought to himself. He and Jesse had only been dating for a few weeks but still…he expected the other to come to his defense…_

_“Genji I’m sorry I…”_

_“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF…”_

_“Remove yourself now Mr. Shimada or I will make you!” a firm voice shouted, making everyone turn to the door._

_Doctor Wilson, the same doctor who had come to Hanzo as soon as he was awake, happy and relieved that the other had survived. He had been in often to talk with Hanzo and see how he was fairing this past week. He looked pissed and fed up with what was happening in the room. He sent a seething glare to Angela and Jesse, making the former step back and the latter flinch and gaze at the floor. Reinhardt stood protectively next to Hanzo, a big hand resting on his back. Yet all this support, Hanzo still felt the guilt welling up within him._

_“You will leave this room this instant! You are upsetting the recovery of my patient and I am not beyond restraining you to the bed!” he said glaring straight at Genji._

_The teen was trembling in anger, pent up frustration and despair within him. He made a sound as he turned to the side._

_“Whatever…” he said turning his chair and beginning to wheel out the door._

_“Genji!” Hanzo called out. “Please….I’m sorry…I’m sorry…if I could…”_

_“You can’t fix this….just leave me alone….monster”_

_**END OF MEMORY** _

Genji let out a shaky breath as he adjusted his backpack over his shoulder, looking up at the apartment building like it was about to crumble to pieces. Before he lost his nerve he walked quickly into the building and straight to the stairwell.

Floor 11

Apartment 7

Ring doorbell

That’s all he had to door. He thought that over and over again as he took the stairs one flight at a time. It gave him time of what to say…what he needed to say. What would help…would him talking help? Or would it just get him into deeper shit? He sighed, his trembling hands the only sign of his panicked state.

To get his Brother back…he would do anything. Anything. Hence why he was here…alone.

He winced at that thought, of how his lover refused to come with him. Stating that he, and he alone needed to take this journey of forgiveness. Zenyatta compromised to come next time…if there was a next time.

Slowing his steps as he reached floor 11, he gently entered the hall, searching slowly for the gold number 7, signaling the correct apartment. He found it and for a few minutes….he stood there.

Could he do this? After…after all the pain he had caused his brother? He had personified him as a monster, had essentially made him a pariah at university with all the rumors he spread and the vitriol he spat to anyone who would listen, and had emotionally abused his brother until the other was forced to flee. For ten years…ten long years was his brother gone…almost immediately after Hanzo had fled had Genji realized what he had done. What atrocity he had committed and how he had basically ripped away any semblance of a normal life away from Hanzo, filling his brother’s days with hate, ridicule, and blame every chance that he got. His only brother…. Whose only sin was watching over his idiotic, dumbass brother who tended to get in more trouble than humanly possible. Hanzo was trying to protect him and take care of him…and what had he done? He had condemned the other for an accident that was clearly not his fault.

Tears fell down his face as he scrubbed them away. Before he could change his mind he jabbed his finger into the doorbell, making the sound echo loudly in his head. He waited anxiously, clutching the straps of his backpack. Soon the door opened to reveal Reinhardt, Reinhardt blinked in confusion before settling into a soft frown. He looked towards the living room before staring straight at Genji. He partially closed the door, walking back into the apartment.

Genji felt fear fill him, wanting to call out to the adult before he heard soft tones of a conversation flowed to his ears. For minutes he stood still, hoping the other would come back…would let him in. he swayed side to side in anxiety before Reinhardt made a sudden appearance back in the doorway, looking softer but no less protective. Genji opened and closed his mouth like a carp…no words coming out until he finally rediscovered his voice.

“Reinhardt please I…”

“Come in Genji,” he said, firm but not unkindly. “There’s a talk…that is very overdue,” he stated grimly, ushering a frozen Genji into the apartment.

He was guided towards the couch, his eyes glued onto the form of his brother…his brother. He…he looked so different, he thought as he swallowed and was seated on a couch across from the other. He stared wordlessly at the other, absorbing the changes. New hair, new piercings, new body…and a new sense of self. Genji, while an asshole, was no idiot. The feeling coming off his brother wasn’t that of guilt, shame, or despair like so many years ago. His brother communicated confidence, peace, and…acceptance. His eyes shakily roamed down to…to his brother’s legs…or lack of legs. He swallowed, closing his eyes as tears threatened to fall. Sure…his face was scarred to high hell…but he could walk, talk, breath, laugh, and just plain and simple…he was alive.

“Genji…” a soft voice sounded

Genji looked up cautiously at Hanzo, expecting hate and rage…exactly what he deserved. But what he saw….he saw confusion and concern. His throat closed up as he tossed his backpack off and threw himself on the floor, hands and forehead on the floor, deep in a bow to the other. His eyes were closed, although that did nothing to deter the tears streaming like waterfalls as he cried.

“Brother….brother please,” he sobbed from the floor, “Forgive me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgiveness?  
> for Genji?  
> will Hanzo grant Genji this wish?  
> what do you guys think?  
> leave in the comments <3

**Author's Note:**

> Leave Kudos and Comments!  
> 


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